Through Waters And Stars
by lyrainthedark
Summary: Valentine's Exchange piece for Skyisthelimit on Dokuga: From the absolute edge of her ability to forgive, Kagome falls. From the border of worlds, Sesshomaru fights a battle for her lost soul - for her...for himself...and for the sake of the future.
1. The Liberation Of Light

_-Dokuga Valentine's Day Secret Exchange-_

_~For SkyIsTheLimit~_

**Through Waters And Stars**

* * *

><p>I.<p>

**The Liberation of Light**

_Now and then I think of when we were together  
>Like when you said you felt so happy you could die<br>Told myself that you were right for me  
>But felt so lonely in your company<br>But that was love and it's an ache I still remember_

_You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness_  
><em>Like resignation to the end, always the end<em>  
><em>So when we found that we could not make sense<em>  
><em>Well you said that we would still be friends<em>  
><em>But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over...<em>

_ "Somebody That You Used To Know", Gotye_

* * *

><p>When the work of the day was over - the fields tended, the animals fed, cloth woven and clothing stitched, dinner eaten and cleared away – there was a clamoring of noise around the old woman's legs. She was the matriarch of a great family, the mother of eight sons and a single daughter, a nobleman's wife.<p>

It was the voices of her grandchildren, twenty three boys and nine girls, that rose together in a chorus of pleading. It was the same chorus that had repeated each evening they were in her presence since the oldest of them could speak.

"Will you tell us a story, Obaa-san?"

"Yes, tell a story!"

"Please, Obaa-san!"

One eyebrow lifted, and the old woman turned her face aside, peering at them each in turn, waiting until they had quivered into stillness before passing her gaze onto the next child. They were used to this; it was part of the nighttime story-telling ritual, one of the things that was most anticipated about these holidays when the whole family was gathered in the matriarch's manor.

Not only the children appeared interested; eyes were turning in their direction from all over the main hall. The old woman was amused to see that her sons had managed to retain the youthful expressions of glee she remembered from their childhoods, though the youngest was now almost thirty.

Aoi, the youngest of her grandchildren, a pretty girl not yet six years old, was the only one too impatient to wait her turn. Clumsily, but carefully – because Obaa-san was _fragile_ – Aoi climbed up into the old woman's lap, and turned wide brown eyes upward.

"Stowwy, Stowwy_ please?_"

The old woman picked up the little girl and held her steady.

"A story...I suppose there _is_ time for one before bed."

A chorus of agreement answered her, and she settled back against the cushion of her chair with a sigh.

"I have told you the story of two hanyou, Inuyasha and Naraku, and their long vendetta. I will tellyou now the story of the demon Sesshomaru; of Sesshomaru and his chosen woman – the woman that he loved. It is a story of great tragedy, and great romance; a story of the most unlikely love, built on the most desperate and inconceivable foundations. A story of hell...and of heaven on earth."

There was a great rustling, as thirty-one bottoms wiggled into comfortable positions, and thirty-one pairs of eyes turned up to watch her face.

"_Mukashi, mukashi..._

* * *

><p>It came down to this; just this. The hanyou Inuyasha had believed that the miko Kikyou was dead; he had taken a newer, younger priestess for his mate for just that reason. Who else would he ever find that would come so close to his lost love? Who else would ever look at him from eyes so close to <em>hers<em>; who else could speak with a voice that echoed the tones of the dead?

That newer, younger woman was named Kagome – Higurashi Kagome – and though she was named for the sunset, she was as bright and beautiful as the clearest morning the world ever saw. Her love for the hanyou was as brilliant as the rest of her, but the love he returned to her was tainted by his memory of another woman and another time.

She did not know this, though she suspected; if their assumptions had been correct, perhaps the hanyou would never have been exposed. Perhaps false feelings might have become true, and withstood the test of time.

The problem was that their assumptions were _not_ correct. Kikyou was _not_ dead, and the day she came back to the village was one day too late for poor Kagome to change anything about the choices she had made.

The day Kikyou came was the day after the well closed forever; the day after she wished for the will of the gods to decide the fate of the shikon no tama. The exact consequences of that wish, she was unsure of – only that the power of the shikon no tama had disappeared in a blaze of light, leaving a clear glass bauble behind.

That was the worst part of the betrayal of the hanyou: that she could not escape, could not return to what she had left behind. Without the shikon no tama, she had never once been able to breach the barrier of Time.

The _second_ worst part was that Kikyou did almost nothing to regain Inuyasha's trust and attention; before the eyes of the whole village, she approached, and stood still, and smiled at the hanyou with the dust of the road still swirling about her feet.

He was sitting in the door of the village miko's hut, Kagome behind him, his companions nearby. It was with a wrench at her heart that Kagome watched him stagger up to his feet and across to Kikyou's side, his arms outstretched, his movements jerky with disbelief.

And Kikyou reached out to him, reached out and pulled his face down for a long and loving kiss.

"Poor Inuyasha. It's all right now; I'm here. You don't have to pretend anymore..."

The hanyou returned her kiss, held Kikyou so suddenly, so tightly, that she gasped and laughed a little and then kissed him again, with more fervor.

There was silence for a long minute.

Inuyasha seemed to have forgotten that there was anyone there but his first love; though the noses of every demon in the village had wrinkled at the presence of the undead miko he seemed not to notice, did not care how cool her lips were against his mouth.

The sound of Kagome's single, hiccuping sob echoed in the quiet.

Immediately, as if startled out of a trance, Inuyasha started backwards and turned hesitant, regretful eyes toward the woman he had supposedly chosen; the woman who had sacrificed her life for him, her family...her future.

"Kagome – I'm sorry, Kagome, I was...just surprised, that's all -"

With more venom that he expected, she spat words back at him.

"Will you be that surprised the next time, Inuyasha? Or more surprised, maybe?"

She closed her eyes tightly, and then took one step back, away from him. She felt firm hands close on her shoulders, felt two presences close behind her.

_Sango. Miroku._

Their support strengthened her.

"You told me you'd _chosen_, Inuyasha. You told me you loved _me_ -"

Kikyou interrupted her.

"Be _quiet_, girl. You do not understand, even now, that you are in the way? That he does not want you – that you are a substitute, a stand-in! When I am here, you are not needed – you trouble our happiness!"

Kagome shivered, and threw her own words out in a cold and deliberate tone that was very unlike her.

"So now, _I_ am the villain? Well...why not? Every story needs one, after all. What would David have been without Goliath; the Chinese Emperor without Yang Kuei Fei? Not history – that much is for sure..."

Her mouth twisted in a smile that was half wry, half spiteful.

"But you know what? _This_ _isn't_ _history_. It's...barely real. Just a dream. Even if now I have to live it forever...it won't mean anything. Nothing you do, Inuyasha, will be remembered. Nothing will remain, no one will remember, you will achieve _nothing_. Do you understand? _Nothing._"

She stood straight-backed and proud, her face quiet in its dignity even though tears streamed down her cheeks in double streams.

"I have already lived the future; I know what it is that's coming. And you – with all your youki, and your powerful sword, and your vanquished enemy – you aren't a part of that. The future is full of men, not youkai – do you hear me? The magic is going to die!"

Her words were indeed heard – intensely – but not by the ears she intended to hear them.

Behind her, unremarked upon and quiet, watching this confrontation with sharp and cutting eyes, Sesshomaru, the demon brother of Inuyasha, listened, and was disturbed. Deeply. Her words had struck a chord in him, echoed in his mind.

_The magic is going to die? _

And, a close second in strength and suddenness:

_No! I will **not** allow it_.

He eyed the miko, gaging her. He saw stubbornness, purity, beauty, and strength – all of them unmatched. He saw dignity, the intelligence of an educated mind, empathy that was too strong for her own good...

And then he blinked; she was approaching him.

* * *

><p>Though Sesshomaru and his small entourage of girl, toad, and dragon had accompanied Inuyasha and his band of companions for some time, this was a first. The miko had not been disrespectful, but neither had she approached him or made overtures of friendship, as was usually her wont – even with strangers.<p>

Had it not been his reserve that restrained her after all, but her feeling for Inuyasha?

"Sesshomaru-sama."

Her voice was quiet; he sensed the great anger she had just directed at Inuyasha simmering beneath the surface of her expressionless face – and he read not only anger, but resentment and regret in her eyes. Sesshomaru, used to reading the impassive masks youkai wore over their emotions, saw a riot of tension in her features despite her best efforts.

When she waited, silent, matching him gaze for gaze as he decided whether or not to acknowledge her, Sesshomaru allowed himself the luxury of examining her companions: the woman, whose scowl was directed at Inuyasha – her man, whose attention was divided equally between Inuyasha (in anger) and Kagome (in concern). Only the kitsune had his eyes on Sesshomaru; eyes that were quickly averted when their owner saw he had been noticed.

It was curiosity that decided him – curiosity that had been awoken the moment he had first heard her speak of future knowledge. And those words – those words would haunt him for a long while, he thought.

_The magic is going to die_

He answered her finally with a cold, controlled word.

"Miko?"

The corners of her mouth lifted in the faintest smile, and he was surprised. Had she not expected the acknowledgment?

_Then why speak?_

Her next words astounded him.

"I wish to apologize, Sesshomaru-sama; to apologize for...almost every moment between us since the first one. For my lack of respect when I met you; for my disbelief in the face of your long knowledge of your half-brother; for the disregard I encouraged my companions to show you. I did not even try to get to know you when you joined our company; if it is any excuse, it was for the sake of Inuyasha...but he, apparently, is not worthy of such consideration."

It was Sesshomaru's turn to smile faintly, something he thought only the miko saw, and recognized.

"Your apologies are accepted; I have no quarrels with you, miko."

Kagome bowed low.

"I, too, have no quarrel with you...and I will no longer interfere in your quarrel with your brother."

Sesshomaru stepped back, already plotting, reassessing, in the light of all his new information...the new _possibilities_...and gathered his own companions to him.

It was time for regrouping, recalculation – and _research_.

Like any good hunter, he would know everything that could possibly help him before he approached his prey.

His miko – or rather, she _would_ be his miko. She and her beauty, her strength, her future knowledge – his; all his. She was like him – unique. Solitary. Alone – even in company; alone, though she did her best to hide it; alone, and bright to him though he could see through her smiles to the empty truth within.

He watched her walk away into the circle of her friends, saw the peering intensity of Inuyasha's eyes, already seeking forgiveness though his arm was still wrapped around the _other _miko. He watched, and knew suddenly the first thing he would have to do.

Sesshomaru would make clear to his brother that his _attentions _were unacceptable, that he had breached the contract that made the miko his mate. He was no longer wanted; if he would not unbind himself as Kagome's mate, Sesshomaru would kill him and allow _death_ to do the unbinding.

There would be questions, then – the things he needed to know; questions for the old Miko, for the woman, for her man.

He wanted to know Kagome's fears, her talents, her dreams and desires; then he would provide each thing she needed. He would draw her to him, seduce her...make it so that once she had come to him willing once she never wanted to leave again.

For another woman, his mere presence, his desire, would be enough to gain him the submission he craved. Kagome...Kagome was wounded by love; Kagome was hurting. Even if she had not been, Kagome would still be difficult...but worth it.

Worth it.

That had been proved to him many times already – he had just been too blind to see it. Too – proud. He had suffered a drastic reduction in pride lately, a reduction caused by being forced to acknowledge his inability to defeat Naraku on his own - an acknowledgment that had come the day he joined his brother's company...and the miko's.

_Kagome._

* * *

><p>End Of Part I<p> 


	2. Long Dark Lullaby Of A Steel Blue Night

_-Dokuga Valentine's Day Secret Exchange-_

_~For SkyIsTheLimit~_

**Through Waters And Stars**

* * *

><p>II.<p>

**The Long Dark Lullaby Of A Steel Blue Night**

_This feeling is not sadness  
>This feeling is not joy<br>I truly understand  
>Please don't cry now...<em>

_A part of your soul  
>Ties you to the next world<br>Or maybe to the last  
>But I'm still not sure<br>But what I do know  
>Is to us the world is different<br>As we are to the world  
>I guess you would know that...<br>- VNV Nation, Illusion_

* * *

><p>There was a chorus of discontent as the old woman paused in her story and took a long drink of tea from the cup at her elbow.<p>

"Obaa-san, the hanyou was dishonorable!"

"Yeah – he's not nice, Obaa-san!"

"Inuyasha's mean; she should've _blasted_ him!"

"What happened next – what happened next?"

There was a _click_ as she set down her cup of tea and leaned back against the cushion of her chair. She let out a long sigh, her eyes closed, remembering. Those had been days of such passion and power; the days of beauty and innocence; the days of youth.

The little one in her lap squirmed, and tugged on her sleeve.

"P'ease, more?"

"Yes, yes...more, indeed. Listen, then..."

* * *

><p>That evening, while Sesshomaru made his own plans, Kagome packed her bag and stole away into the darkness of the village's distracted night. Sango and Miroku respected her wish to be alone, taking comfort in each other; Shippou was sleeping; Inuyasha was gone, supposedly <em>thinking – <em>but Kikyou was gone too. Sesshomaru's absence or presence was not to be remarked on; certainly, the air had been cleared between them, but they weren't friends by any means.

For a single, vivid moment as she stepped into the shadow of the trees, Kagome contemplated changing that, as perhaps she should have done from the very beginning. The leaden weight of her most secret desire pulsed in her chest, a solid, immovable thing – but the agony of it firmed her resolve.

She _would_ leave the village; she would leave her friends to the happiness they had earned and go away from Inuyasha, whose presence was only pain to her now.

She was observed by only one individual, the little girl Rin. She was Sesshomaru's follower, a child who had been saved by the light that lived in the heart of his darkness. It was a light that had marked her – that would forever mark her; it made her sensitive to Sesshomaru's needs and desires, and that sensitivity had tuned her awareness of Kagome to a new height.

She had seen the smile he had thought was only for the miko; she had seen it, and in the presence of it her childish heart had been moved. Here was a thing she had longed for; a moment of a kindness, a visible compassion – _here_, in the presence of Kagome.

For some time, Rin had wondered – what was Sesshomaru to her? A protector? Certainly! A guardian? Yes...but what type? Was he her father, now, a replacement for that lost man in her vanished past?

If he was her father, then the arrangement of a proper family would not be complete until Sesshomaru had found a woman; a mate. It would never have occurred to her to ask him for her own sake; what Sesshomaru gave she accepted, but she did not presume to tax his generosity.

The girl's knowledge and instincts were immature, but certain on one point: whatever reason Sesshomaru allowed her to follow him, it was not altruism. He wanted something...needed something that she provided; she did not need to understand, only recognize and accept.

That same knowledge, those same instincts, confirmed for her a thing she had suspected since Sesshomaru had brought her into the strange miko's company.

Kagome was good for Sesshomaru – and Sesshomaru would be good for Kagome.

It was for that reason that Rin followed Kagome from the house she had shared with Inuyasha to the edge of the village and out across the wide fields to the edge of the forest, though surely Sesshomaru would not be pleased that she had left without his permission. It was important to her that she find out where Kagome was going, but the young miko's direction confused the little girl.

Kagome walked, not along the path, but between the trees to an empty and abandoned well in a clearing not far from the village.

Rin peered out from behind a tree and watched as Kagome drew herself up over the lip of the well - and tossed herself in.

Rin darted forward, all thoughts of hiding forgotten. She heard a thump and a loud exclamation of pain – and then sobbing, terrible sobbing. On tiptoe, she approached to the edge of the well and peered down, holding tight to the wooden lip.

"Kagome-sama! Kagome-sama, are you all right? You fell so far!"

Kagome looked up, surprise showing through the tears on her face. She attempted a smile, failed miserably, and wiped away tears with a dirty hand.

"I'm fine, Rin. Just...just fine."

Stifling further sobs, still shaking with them, Kagome stood painfully and tested her limbs, her muscles. Nothing broken, nothing bruised too badly; she had been...lucky. With a quick, snatching movement she reached out and grasped the vines that led upward in cold, pale fingers. She climbed with jerky movements, and then hauled herself over the edge and sank to her knees in damp grass.

Rin came close and stood by Kagome's side, peering with a concerned expression at the scuffs on the miko's knees and elbows and the dirt smudged across her cheeks. It was beyond her why anyone would jump into a well on purpose, but she sensed that no questions would be needed, if only she would wait. Sesshomaru was that way sometimes.

There were only a few moments of quiet before Kagome turned to look at the girl standing beside her; for the second time she attempted a smile and succeeded, but it came out pale and wan.

"I knew it wouldn't work; I knew it was too late...for me to go back."

And then there was another silence, and then a question.

"I didn't know you had seen me leaving, Rin. Why did you follow me?"

Rin contemplated this. She could not speak the exact truth – that she had followed for Sesshomaru's sake, and for the sake of the future she wanted for herself. It would sound selfish – and strange- and Sesshomaru would not be happy to find out she had been saying such things.

At the same time, the very nature of her personal cause meant that she could not lie; it would work against her later. With a smile and all the wisdom that ten years of living had bestowed on her, Rin gave the best answer she could think of.

"I was worried, Kagome-sama."

Rin's innocence and concern were touching, but Kagome's thoughts were focused on escape, now. She had to get away from the girl without raising her suspicions; she didn't want companions, couldn't afford attachment – she was leaving, _leaving_ -

"Well, that's very sweet of you, Rin, but you don't need to worry about me. I have my bow, and I'm strong; sometimes I like to go for a walk at night. _You _should be back in the village; it's far past your bed time."

Thus confronted, Rin felt herself foiled; now she would _have_ to lie.

"I will go back now, Kagome-sama; be careful!"

Rin walked back toward the village, and then ducked behind a tree and waited until Kagome had almost moved out of sight. She knew Kagome was not going for a _walk_ – no one packed that much for an evening stroll!

Quickly, contemplating the two courses of action in front of her – following, or going back, Rin decided to follow. If she went back, even when Sesshomaru noticed that Kagome was missing – and he would – there was no guarantee he would go after her; he would not admit his need, his want, so easily. Four years with him had taught her this and more. If _Rin herself_ went with Kagome, however...

_Sesshomaru-sama will follow to find me and make sure I am safe._

Rin plucked a thorn from a nearby bush, and pressed it into the ball of her thumb with a wince. Bright blood welled to the surface, and she pressed the red bead against a leaf of the same bush, left a crimson streak behind.

It was not much, but enough. On a day's ramble through the wood, Sesshomaru would never stop to investigate such a muted whisper of blood-scent . At night, though...at night, he would notice her missing presence, sense the odor of her fragile life, and come seeking her.

_Oh, I will get such a scolding from Jaken-sama. And Sesshomaru-sama will be angry...if I am wrong._

For a moment she quailed and nearly turned back, wondering what the consequences would be if Sesshomaru _was_ displeased with her actions...but she continued on, following in the path of Kagome's footsteps, listening carefully to the darkness of the forest and her own breaths. Occasionally, as she grew farther and farther from the village, Rin paused to prick her finger and leave a single drop of blood, drawing a line of scent for Sesshomaru to follow.

She did not consider, in her youth and inexperience, that_ other_ youkai might also detect the delectable scent of a maiden's blood.

Youkai who were closer to them than Sesshomaru.

Youkai who might find them faster.

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru's distraction with his own plans was such that for once he did not notice that Rin's quiet presence had become completely silent. Careful consideration had decided him on a course of action; he would speak to the humans <em>before<em> he confronted his brother. Despite the angry faces that had stared at Inuyasha in the afternoon light, they still were his friends, his companions; if they had been Inu, they would have been hearth-mates, the closest part of Pack.

But they were not Inu, and the loyalty they had demonstrated was the loyalty of choice, not instinct. Their words – each of them – taught him this with completely finality. He chose the old miko first, because he was sure her word would carry some weight with the other two, who were a pair likely to make their decision together.

He found her sitting alone in the darkness, leaning forward as though a heavy weight were on her shoulders. She looked up at him with a sideways turning of her head, and for a moment he was shocked to silence. The play of shadows and starlight, the softening of the night, took away something of the old woman's stolidness from her face and softened the stare of her single eye to a liquescent brown.

Sesshomaru had heard, in passing, that this old woman was the sister of the living woman who had been Kikyou – and that Kagome, _his_ Kagome, was her reincarnation. In that moment, he saw it – saw the resemblance between this old woman and the dead miko...and Kagome.

In that moment, he came face to face with the details of Kagome's mortality, the burden and truth of his choice, and faced it head on. Before he spoke, he considered carefully again – because this was the reality that awaited him. One day, Kagome would look this way – just this way.

He took a deep breath.

"Miko, I have come to ask you a question. Will you hear me speak?"

Kaede's joint's creaked audibly to his ears as she leaned back, and then closed her eyes and nodded slowly.

"Surely, I will you hear you, Sesshomaru-sama – though I cannot promise an answer."

Sesshomaru took two steps closer and nodded sharply.

"It is agreed. Miko, I desire your apprentice for my own. The miko Kagome – I will have her; my brother is not good for her, not worthy of her. He will destroy her. I come to ask – will you tell me _her_ desire? Will you tell me what it is that Kagome wants, that I may give it to her?"

Silence fell, so thick and deep that even Tenseiga could not have cut it; Tenseiga, that could cut death itself. Kaede stared, and stared, forced herself to remember that Sesshomaru, too, was a son of the Inu no Taisho; the demon son of the demon who had loved a woman so strongly he had died for her.

Finally, forcing herself to speak through the pressure of the unexpected, Kaede gave him the only answer she could.

"Nothing I have heard of you agrees with this moment, Sesshomaru-sama. Your history speaks against you...but if you are truthful in your words, I can only advise you to show her you mean them. She has heard enough promises, I think – don't you?"

He bared his fangs, a threatening display, and Kaede smiled.

"Beyond that, I think you must ask Kagome yourself, if you dare."

And then she fixed him with a hard glare as he growled.

"After all, Sesshomaru-sama...one worthy of you is one even you might fear, hmm?"

His eyes flashed over her once more, gold and glittering, and then he swept away from her back into the night.

It was with _great_ irritation that Sesshomaru went to find Sango and Miroku, but it was irritation that lessened as he stalked through the village. The old miko's words had touched him, and he did not like it...but who was she, after all?

_One old woman...one old human woman with the shadow of Kagome's face. _

The thought was still with him when he found the woman, Sango. Her figure was just barely rounding into the curves of her first pregnancy, and her stance became immediately defensive when she saw that he had approached her purposefully.

He asked her his question – the same question he had asked the old miko. He was startled by the depth and sincerity of her response. It was almost as if it was something she had prepared for, though he couldn't imagine how that could possibly be.

"Kagome saved me once, Sesshomaru."

Sango spoke to him without honorific; she always had. She was a demon slayer, a huntress; she would not acknowledge youkai authority.

"She says, when I speak to her of it, that I have saved her many more times – but I have loved her like the sister I never had ever since that day...she saved more than my body, Sesshomaru; I think she saved my soul. From guilt – from the darkness that fits itself so easily into the desire for vengeance. From pain, and the solitary life of a lone warrior with an impossible quest."

He was riveted in place by her words. He sensed more in them than what she was openly saying, more in them than just the history, however personal – something more, something for _him_.

_What is it?_

"I cannot know your intentions, Sesshomaru – I cannot know what you really want. But for her sake – for Kagome...I will give you a true answer. Because maybe that it is the only way to help her now."

Sango paused, and Sesshomaru saw anger on her face – the anger he had seen earlier, which was all for Inuyasha.

"Kagome wants to be wanted for _herself_, Sesshomaru. And she wants to be loved. I would say, looking at you, that that would be impossible – except that you have that little girl, and Rin is happy...and adores you. If you can give something like that to Kagome – you have _my_ blessing, for what it's worth. And I think...you will have hers, too."

Sango spoke with a smile that was beyond Sesshomaru's understanding; as if she was aware of some secret that neither questions nor death could pry loose. He scowled, but nodded, and then bowed ever so slightly in her direction.

"Your words are appreciated, Taijiya."

He considered her for a moment.

"May you die a good death."

Sango's eyebrows shot upwards – but he was already gone, seeking out Miroku and one more piece of advice.

When Sesshomaru found him the Houshi spoke straight to the point, maintaining eye contact.

"I should not say this, Sesshomaru-sama, because you are youkai and I am a holy man – but I think that you will be good for our Kagome...and that she will be good for you. Inuyasha was _not_ good for her; I think even she knew this, though it was the last thing she ever wanted to admit. Be kind to her, and if you want her, if you love her, tell her – and then never do anything that would contradict those words."

Sesshomaru thought it strange that the the three he had asked had answered him with such similar words – and stranger still that not a single one had protested his declaration; his claim.

It was then – only then – that he returned to his camping place and became aware that a member of his entourage was missing.

He looked around sharply, missed the miko's presence as he scanned the air for Rin.

And then the scent of blood came flowing to him on the evening air, rich and dark and horrible. It was the miko's blood, an odor he was not at all prepared to deal with – and riding on it, a mere accent, the scent of Rin's.

* * *

><p>End Of Part II<p> 


	3. The Masquerade Of A Fallen Star

_-Dokuga Valentine's Day Secret Exchange-_

_~For SkyIsTheLimit~_

**Through Waters And Stars**

* * *

><p>III.<p>

**The Masquerade Of A Fallen Star**

_I long to feel  
>My heart burned open wide<br>'Til nothing else remains  
>Except the fires from which I came <em>

_Lay me down  
>And wash this world from me<br>Open the skies  
>And burn it all away <em>

_ - VNV Nation, Nova_

* * *

><p>The old woman hesitated for a moment at the edge of the next phase of her story. The hall was silent around her, every eye focused on the movements of her wrinkled old lips. Carefully, she sipped at the last of her tea, and gestured to one of her older granddaughters to refill her cup.<p>

Steam rose in milky swirls, spiraling from the surface of the hot liquid.

She lifted the cup to her nose, breathing deeply, and then let out a long sigh.

* * *

><p>Rin's path behind Kagome continued far longer than she had contemplated walking. In the dark woods, she grew cold; as the night continued on, she grew tired – but still, she kept her eyes on Kagome's back, and still she made sure that she stayed far enough behind a tree or a tall bush that Kagome would not see her if she turned suddenly.<p>

And then there came a voice; soft, lisping.

"Hello. Who are _you_?"

Rin jumped, startled, and then calmed at the sight of another child, a girl perhaps a year younger than she was.

"Oh...hello. I am Rin."

She continued walking and did not slacken her steps, one eye on Kagome and one eye on the girl, who kept pace with her.

"Hello, Rin. Come, play with me. It's been so long since I had a friend!"

Ahead of her, Kagome paused for a moment, and so Rin paused too, and turned to look more closely at the girl. Her hair was long, and her eyes were large; she wore a red yukata that was oddly bright against the night.

"I would like to be your friend; what is _your_ name?"

The strange girl smiled, and the smile seemed somehow too wide for her face, too many teeth in it, her eyes too open.

"My name is Joru, Rin. I am _so_ pleased to have met you. Come, play a game with me; come, come and play!"

But in the distance ahead, Kagome had begun to move again, and Rin skipped forward a few steps and then began to walk to keep up with her.

"Sorry, Joru, but I can't stay for games right now; I have to follow Kagome-sama. It's important – but the village isn't that far away. I can come visit you!"

She smiled, and waved, and then turned back to her self-appointed task. Almost absentmindedly, she pricked her finger on the thorn she had kept, and smeared the drop on the tree beside her as she walked away.

She went on for a short while in silence – and then stopped dead in her tracks. In front of her, on a low branch of a tree and then suddenly on the ground just a few feet away, was Joru.

"Rin...Rin...come play with me, Rin."

And then, with a too wide smile, she came forward in a way that sent Rin scrabbling backward, screaming; screaming at the top of her lungs.

It was Sesshomaru she screamed for, while Joru stalked towards her – but it was Kagome who came. She came running, her heart in her throat, knowing that girlish scream – its tones, familiar in fear. She came berating herself for not being sure the girl had gone back; she came with her bow in hand, an arrow waiting on the string –

And then she stopped dead, and her expression shifted from frightened to quizzical.

It was Rin, as she had thought – but there was nothing but a little girl standing over her.

_A little girl_?

After a moment of focus, her miko senses were tingling across her skin as they did in the presence of darkness. She stared at the girl, and slowly, too slowly, the child turned to face her. She bore the same wide smile that had disconcerted Rin; her wide eyes looked at Kagome hungrily, and she licked her lips with a too-long tongue.

"Miko? Miko, I smell...aren't you sweet, pretty lady? Aren't you...sweet?"

A strange smell wafted by Kagome; for a moment she felt weak, and then struggled back to attention, pink light crackling visibly over her skin now, purifying the air she breathed.

The girl's smile changed, became openly ugly. She opened her mouth wide and let out a horrible shriek.

"I want my _sweets_!"

And then she smiled, and took a step back from Kagome, towards Rin. Her arms seemed to lengthen, elongate...and then there were more of them. From the ground, Rin let out a gasp, a word:

"_Jorogumo_!"

Joru looked at her, and spoke again in her little-girl lisp.

"Rin, Rin, such a clever girl! Such a clever guess! And we never did play our game, did we? We can let the sweets play, too, can't we?"

And then her claws, sharp as knives, were poised over each of their hearts, faster than Kagome could see. The dark spider eyes looked up and captured Kagome's gaze with their wicked gleam.

"Well, miko, miko...should I tell you the rules? Only one of us can take a step; if I step, then I decide who dies! If _you_ step, you die; if she steps...oh...the sweets are angry. You understand, then?"

And then she laughed, a terrible cackle.

"Hurry up and decide who goes first, miko...before I get impatient and decide myself – yes, decide myself!"

The cackle became a girlish giggle, and Kagome shuddered. Even that much movement tore her shirt on the claws that were poised to destroy her – but though her fingers clenched tightly on her bow, on the arrow, there was nothing she could do. Rin was frozen in fear; even the tears hovered in her eyes, shivering on the brink of falling.

Kagome swallowed thickly, and then made her choice.

She took one step – and then two, and then three. The pain was terrible, but she kept her eyes on Rin; she would make sure the girl was safe, she _would_. And did it matter, if she died herself? Rin had a life in front of her...a whole life. Kagome had wasted her own chance, wasted the future on the past, her heart on Inuyasha, her dreams on impossible goals...impossible desires.

When she reached Joru's side, she raised the arrow in her hand – but the power would not come. She had lost too much blood; already the world was growing dim.

She fell, bloodied, silent, and in the same moment the shadow of a great presence fell over her. Her eyes blinked open, and through a red haze she saw Sesshomaru standing at her feet, tall, towering, a black silhouette of power that strove momentarily with a darkness beyond her vision, and then conquered in light.

The last thing she saw was that light, outlining his profile, the sharp angles of his features all edged in blue as sharp as steel. The glare of his eyes grew in golden wildness until they obscured all else from her vision. She heard his voice, heart-stopping in its inexplicable concern:

"_Kagome – Kagome – __**Kagome -**__"_

And she thought she heard something else; a sob – a broken sound – but even as she strode past death's door, she dismissed it.

_A sob? From Sesshomaru? Ha..._

The world dimmed into darkness, and sound into silence; thought and memory faded. She strayed past the borders of life, and into the timeless regions between fortune and feeling.

Kagome had never considered her own death, except in passing, except to wonder if a certain moment might be the one that brought her to her next life. If she _had_ thought of it, she would have contemplated heaven – the various aspects of paradise and what they might mean for her. She had lived a good life, had been filial, loyal, loving...hadn't she?

Hadn't she?

It was with the greatest surprise that she opened her eyes, knowing she had died, and found darkness; the blank and blasphemous depths of Hell.

And then came a Voice, sound made liquid, penetrating and painful. She pressed her hands over her ears and cowered down to the ground, but the Voice was inescapable, pressed down on her, repeated its words over and over:

"_Do you know why you are damned, woman? Do you know why you are here? Do you know why you __are damned, woman? Do you know why you are here?_"

And through the agony came suddenly a clear and blinding revelation; through her panic and the passionless fury of the Voice came the answer, ripped from her in both sobs and laughter.

"Yes – yes!I know – I know..."

There was silence, and then the Voice again, demanding, implacable.

"_Speak your reason! Speak your reason, and test its truth! Speak your reason!"_

But Kagome was ready for it this time. Of course the kami would know – her secret, her desire. An unfulfilled and impossible wish – that was what came to her mind, what filled her. Not that she had been the mate of a hanyou – not that she given up her purity – no.

"I am damned – because I loved a demon. I am damned for love!"

The Voice retreated; the Queen of Hell approached. She knew her as she saw her – terrible, overwhelming, magnetic, her power both luscious and vicious, washing over her like waves.

Then she knew nothing for a long while.

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru knelt over Kagome's body for a long moment, still as the night around him, gone quiet at the flush of his power. A strange anguish was coursing through him, and a terrible fear; how wrong it was that the old miko was right after all!<p>

_The worthy one...enough to make me fear..._

He stood with the thought and drew Tenseiga, and held it over Kagome's body – and waited. Nothing happened. No pall bearers appeared; her soul could not have fled so fast, and yet...nothing. No blue light; no power.

From her place on the ground, Rin came to him then, trembling, and clutched at his leg. Her eyes stayed fixed on Kagome's body, her pupils wide and dark.

"She saved me – Sesshomaru-sama, Sesshomaru-sama – can't you save her – can't you – won't you -"

The broken tones of Rin's voice reached Sesshomaru when even his own conflicted heart had not. He looked down at Kagome – really _looked_ – and saw that she was beautiful even in death, posing a question to him even from beyond the boundaries of her mortal life.

_What will you do, Sesshomaru? What is it worth to you – this life you wanted to claim?_

"Rin, stay close to me."

As he had done once before, Sesshomaru went to his mother.

This time he knew what she kept hidden, and demanded the power of the amulet that hung heavy around her neck. She denied him, as he knew she would; Kagome's body was heavy and cold in his arms, a reminder he did not need, and in half a moment he was half a pace away from his mother's chair, his face close to hers, his eyes wild with rage.

"You will not deny me! You will not deny me this – not this! Not now!"

"It will not work, Sesshomaru! You will not escape a second time!"

He leveled a single furious gaze in her direction, and tightened his hands on the body of the woman he held in his arms.

"You do not know how precious she is – to me, to you – to all of our kind, and hers...she is our future. I _know_ it. Without her, I will never find out the truth – I will never know what is supposed to happen –I will never know why I stopped, something jagged inside me, when her body fell; I will never know why..."

But he could not say it.

_The magic is going to die._

"I _will_ escape. And she will come with me."

Something – his words, his distress, his fury, moved her. Slowly, regal, she stood and lifted the jeweled pendant from its resting place at her throat. Power moved outward in a flowing of void and stars, and Sesshomaru went through the gateway, down and down. He felt it close behind him and spiraled down into darkness; he was met by demons, the dead, the lost powers of all the ages.

He lived for battle, but he did not have time for this. He held up Tenseiga before him, glittering blue and eerie in the blackness, and they shuddered at his intent. They lived; in hell, to be sure...but they lived. They _existed_.

Sesshomaru offered them darkness; offered to their souls the abyss of **Mu**_**. **_

And then came the voice:

"This is the second time you have come here, seeking a human soul; what is it you do not understand about _mortality_, Inuyoukai?"

A swathe of darkness became something like fabric, garments fit for an Empress. Within them moved shadow and power; beside them stood a familiar shape. Sesshomaru stood very still, his eyes _fixed_ on Kagome, who stood silent and unmoving, her expression hollow as a doll's, a mere ornament beside the Queen.

The Voice that questioned him was a hiss, and a roar, and a hundred voices, and silence.

* * *

><p>End Of Part III<p> 


	4. The Palpable Obscure

_-Dokuga Valentine's Day Secret Exchange-_

_~For SkyIsTheLimit~_

**Through Waters And Stars**

* * *

><p>IV.<p>

**The Palpable Obscure**

_A piece of ancient history.  
>A ballad of an old one.<br>Nothing wrong with you.  
>What a numb excuse.<br>Nothing quite so tame  
>As when you're finally under.<br>A vengeful darling..._

_And I consume the raging fire  
>And I can feel the depths of the ocean.<br>And I become consumed by desire.  
>And I swear I thought of you...<em>

_ Subbing For Eden, Pinback_

* * *

><p>Sesshomaru turned, and brought his gaze to the Queen of Hell. He met eyes of flame settled into black embers, but he was not afraid; he had fought beasts and dragons, spirits and kami. The Voice that had wilted Kagome's mortal soul was not enough to touch him; not enough to shake the firmament of his resolve. He spoke easily, the words flowing from him; familiar words, some of them, words he had said before.<p>

"I understand mortality; I understand that it means you think you can take what is mine from me. I understand...that you are wrong."

Laughter surrounded him, beat at him, frost and brass.

"Then you do not understand, Inu. Where do you think you are?"

Sesshomaru smiled coldly, revealed the dark illumination that was growing in his eyes.

"I am in Hell. _S__he_ is _mine_. You _will_ return her."

"This miko is buried for good; did you think I did not know that this is the second time you have come here, Inu-youkai? You walk with an escaped soul by your side already."

Sesshomaru felt Rin's fingers convulse where they gripped his hakama. For the first time he considered that she might have some memory of the time she had spent here – but his attention was drawn back to his foe almost immediately.

The terrible Voice said words he could not forgive.

"This one –this miko - you have given her up!_"_

Given her up,_ given her up_, _**given her up**_. The words echoed.

"She wanted you; she is _damned_ for you...did you know that, Inuyoukai? But it no longer matters, because death makes her mine. It no longer matters; she is not the first holy woman to come into my grasp this way...nor will she be the last. Now – depart my realm...or stay here forever!"

"_No_."

Sesshomaru felt but did not hear laughter.

"You are warned; go now, while I allow it! Would you fight Death with your own hands? I am no mere youkai, fool!"

But even as she spoke, in the middle of her last word, Sesshomaru drew his sword and began the greatest battle the world would never see. Even as he lay down Kagome's body, a single flash of his eyes pushing Rin out of the way, her laughter continued; when he came at her the Queen did not move to block him, to dodge his blow.

Perhaps she was used to those under her control rebelling; those who could not harm her, those who bore no power that could touch her in her own realm. Human dead, and youkai; the spirits of the ages stripped of their power in the face of her supremacy. Perhaps she thought that Sesshomaru, merely youkai, merely Inu, could not touch her.

She was wrong.

Tenseiga slipped into Sesshomaru's hands more smoothly than it had ever done, glowing with a cold blue light. So intense was the radiance of the blade's strange power that the steel gleam of its edge had vanished, consumed. So subtle was the glow that the void around them was subdued, not parted; in the black burning eyes of the Queen, the light reflected like a crescent moon.

A terrible scream scrabbled across Sesshomaru's ears as Tenseiga's edge bit into the silky billowing of her form, but he paid it no attention, and advanced. Lightning dashed toward him; a dome of energy blasted outward from the shape of the Queen, and in the shadows he saw her face, the parody of a woman built from burned flesh that flickered back and forth, gorgeous to grotesque.

Sesshomaru bared his fangs then, bowed his head and pushed forward as if through a heavy wind. His skin smoked in the barrage of energy, yellow and orange, virulent, pulsing. Blood welled up to the surface of a thousand tiny cuts and flowed over his skin, staining the white silk he wore – and he heard the laughter beginning again, a terrible sound.

Red rose to the surface in his eyes. The glow of Tenseiga intensified further, became so bright he could no longer stand to look at it. Instead, he looked at Kagome, standing silent, unmoving, still. He felt again the terrible flush of pain that had brought him to his knees beside her body; he heard for the hundredth time the echo of the words that had caught his attention, and attached to them a final, perfect meaning.

_The magic is going to die – if she does. If **she**__ does_ -

He did not know how or why he knew this; perhaps he had changed the meaning of magic, just for this moment. For there was magic in her presence, in her very being; he could see that now. Magic, that she should give her life for a girl she barely knew – the girl that belonged to her almost-enemy. Magic, that she had survived four years by his brother's side, four years of anguish, four years punishing herself as she punished Inuyasha.

Magic, that she had reached out, that she had touched Sesshomaru himself.

Magic, that she had not tried to make him want her -

Magic, that he _did_.

Words escaped him in the moment of his realization, words that were a summoning, a roar of power.

"Kagome! Kagome, I will not allow you to die; I will not bear the burden of the future alone, I will not walk in silence forever! You will not leave behind a motherless son, a broken woman, a new man – you will not leave the sister of your soul!"

He pushed forward with Tenseiga, inflicted another scathing blow on the body of the Queen. His roar was great enough to outmatch her screaming; an aura of blue and golden power flowed around him like the currents of a mighty wind.

"Kagome! You _will_ return with me. _You will not die_! You will live for the magic – you will live for me – you will live for _love_. Kagome!"

And in Kagome's dead face, a flicker; in her vacant eyes, a kindling flame.

Almost carelessly, Sesshomaru turned the blue glow of Tenseiga so that it glittered again in the soulless eyes of the Queen; his claws could not hold her, when he reached out, but the blue flame of power at her throat was sufficient to keep her still.

"Have you learned the lesson of _mortality_? Do you understand now what it means to take what is mine?"

Her black glare could not control him; her Voice was merely an itch, no longer carrying even as much sting as a whip.

"You will not escape, Inuyoukai. You cannot destroy me without destroying yourself; this _realm_ is my flesh, and all that is in it mine to rule!"

Her sneer withered in the face of his iron stillness.

"My concern is Kagome; you cannot fight against me. Return her."

"Your weapon is your only power! Your arrogance is -"

Another shriek filled out the end of her words. Blue light had lodged itself in her belly, was being pulled slowly, excruciatingly upward. Sesshomaru spoke as if he was bored. Black blood poured out around his sword.

"Arrogance is for the unworthy. Arrogance is for those who fail. This – this is _power_."

He wrenched the blade to the left.

"Let us see if death can die."

A black shape fell to the floor, and congealed in the darkness. Sesshomaru returned to where he had begun, and lifted Kagome's body in his arms again. Across from him, he saw her retreating spirit slow, and stop, and then turn to face him. There was confusion on her face; her eyes lingered on her body, the gaping wound in her chest. Her features seemed to strain for a moment, as if there was something she was trying to remember, and then her voice reached out and touched him, soft as a whisper, though her mouth did not move.

"Sesshomaru? Did you...want something?"

He was pleased by her question; knowing what he knew, having done what he had done, it was the perfect opening.

"Something? No, Kagome. I did not want _something_."

It was the first time he had ever spoken her name in such a gentle tone; that alone stilled her, as he had known it would.

"Then – is there something I can _do_ for you?"

Bitterness seeped into her voice; this time he could see her speaking. Sesshomaru shook his head; his eyes smiled at her. Her indrawn breath told him she had seen it.

"You need do nothing, Kagome."

"Then – then what do you _want_? I am dead – I am _dead_."

He took one step toward her; she took one step back. He took another step – and another, and another, pushing her back across the darkness until she stumbled to a stop, her back pressed against a hard, dark nothing –

Her flesh shimmered in his hands and then vanished, and he saw her suddenly become solid, whole; the great wound in her body grew vibrant and then sealed. His smile intensified; hedid not stop until he was close enough to reach down and take her hand, close enough to feel the warmth and sweetness of her breath on his cheek as he leaned down and spoke into her ear.

"I want _you_, Kagome. Only you."

He heard the sudden, wild pounding of her heart and leaned back far enough that he could look down into her eyes. Her voice was faint.

"You don't – you _can't_ mean it. I'm human, not quite a miko, just a woman – I don't belong, not to this time, not to anyone – not even to Inuyasha any more!"

"But I want you to belong to _me_, Kagome."

He saw her mouth moving, shaping new words of protest, and leaned forward to kiss her. For a single moment, her eyes wide, she hesitated – and then leaned forward, melted completely into his grasp. The shining _stuff _of her spirit-being seemed rise to the surface of her body, to meld into his very flesh, though she remained enfleshed, solid enough for him to touch – and then he pulled back, and she spoke quietly, questioning, bemused.

"Belong...to you?"

And then:

"Yes; I will be yours. I will be yours, Sesshomaru."

Something in her answer – her voice, her shimmering, his own disbelief, made him question her.

"You must tell me, Kagome – do you say yes because you desire it...or because you wish vengeance on my brother?"

She smiled a wan smile, and looked up at him.

"Vengeance? No. There isn't a single person who knows it, Sesshomaru – unless maybe Sango suspects - but Inuyasha was a _second-choice_ too. _My_ second choice."

And then she flushed, and looked away, and suddenly he understood.

_All this time – she has been wanting me, and thought it an impossible longing. So she settled for Inuyasha...who claimed to love her, who shared my blood, who shared a hint of my strength and power..._

"Once, I frightened you, Kagome. I threatened you, as I threatened Inuyasha – I am sorry."

She laughed, and he found the sound far too hollow for his liking.

"Inuyasha never apologized. Not once; not in all the time we were traveling. Did you know that the first time he saw me, he mistook me for Kikyou and tried to kill me? Even though I had told him my name..."

She shrugged

"I knew I could never really be angry at him for choosing me second, though, not...not and be _right _when I was really doing the same thing. That's why I...never confronted him about it, never asked – until the last time. I thought we had committed, each of us: because he had lost Kikyou, and because I would never, ever have you..."

"Are you angry with him still?"

"Angry?"

She shrugged.

"I don't think...angry isn't...angry isn't quite the way I'd describe it. I _was_ – because he broke his promise; because he broke me. But – how can I be angry now? If he _hadn't_ – I wouldn't be here."

He frowned; she clarified just a little.

"Then _you_ wouldn't be here either."

His face smoothed into understanding; he leaned forward and kissed her again.

"That is a good answer, Kagome."

* * *

><p>The old woman looked at her grandchildren; all of them, save one, were sound asleep in their places. While their parents moved around the room, gathering little ones and shooing them off to bed, the littlest, her granddaughter, was still looking at her with sleepy eyes.<p>

"Obaa-san, wha' happen nex'?"

She cuddled closed to her granddaughter, and smoothed her hair gently away from her forehead.

"Sesshomaru had decided, and it was true. Things were always true once he decided them. The battle was great, but he had won. He had slain the Queen of Hell; the whole of the world was quiet. He picked up his woman and his girl, and he brought them back with him to the sunlight."

"Obaa-san...Obaa-san, was it _you_? Was it you that was the li'tl Rin?"

And her grandmother looked back at her and smiled a little.

"Yes. That was me. When I was very small; not much older than you are now."

"Is Shoma – Sessma -Sessru -"

"Sesshomaru-sama. Is Sesshomaru-sama still alive, is that what you want to know?"

Ai nodded eagerly. Her grandmother Rin laughed.

"Child, if there is anyone in this world that could live forever, it would be him. I don't think Hell is eager to take him back...do you?"

* * *

><p>End Of Part IV<p>

_Fin_

A/N: I debated on whether or not to post this, but...apparently my prideful side won :p. Thanks to Skyisthelimit for her excellent prompts, and to Maddie for thinking up this awesome challenge-exchange!

Please Review!


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